Showing posts with label satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label satire. Show all posts

Saturday, June 17, 2017

The Egg and I (Betty MacDonald Memoirs #1) by Betty MacDonald














This is one of the most funniest and fascinating memoirs I have ever read. I want to add some quotes later on. This book is a must-read.

THEN .... LATER ON ...
We had a power cut yesterday and since my iPad was low on battery power as well, I did not want to spend it writing reviews. So I waited until today to add some memorable quotes from the book to my thoughts. There was so much in the book to relate to, living in the mountains myself and having to deal with similar adventures(yes, even many decades after this book was published), that I just had the laughs of my life reading this book.

Her outright honesty, just being herself, was really so refreshing!

Sooooo, some quotes: lots o'em!!!


...I was too fat and I wanted desperately not to eat and be willowy and romantic but there seemed nothing else to do. Bob ate almost nothing and looked furtive like a trapped animal. I guess it is quite a wrench for a bachelor to give up his freedom, particularly when, every time he looks at his wife, he realizes that he is facing a future teeming with large grocery bills...

...The moonshine in a gallon jug was a dark amber color and had a hot explosive smell. We had a drink before dinner that night and it went down with lights flashing like marbles in a pinball game...

... And then winter settled down and I realized that defeat, like morale, is a lot of little things...

...WHEN you make a complete change in your mode of living, as I did, you learn that, along with the strange aspects of the new life which seep in and become part of you, will come others to which you never become accustomed. Some of the things I never got used to were:
The hen.
The gasoline lantern.
The outhouse at night where I had a horrible choice of either sitting in the dark and not knowing what was crawling on me or bringing a lantern and attracting moths, mosquitoes, night hawks and bats.
No radio.
No telephone.
Bats hanging upside down in the cellar, flying in the open bedroom windows on summer nights, swooping low over the bed, almost touching my face and making my skin undulate in horror. Dropping boards and chicken lice.
The inconsistency of a Mother Nature who made winter so wetly, coldly, soggily miserable that I wanted to get back under my stone, and spring so warm, so lush and fragrant that I wanted to roll on my back and whinny...

...(Cinnamon roles) were so tender and delicate I had to bring myself up with a jerk to keep from eating a dozen. The coffee was so strong it snarled as it lurched out of the pot and I girded up my loins for the first swallow and was amazed to find that when mixed with plenty of thick cream it was palatable. True it bore only the faintest resemblance to coffee as I made it but still it had a flavor that was good when I got my throat muscles loosened up again...

...Mary MacGregor had fiery red, dyed hair, a large dairy ranch and a taste for liquor. Drunker than an owl, she would climb on to her mowing machine, “Tie me on tight, Bill!” she would yell at her hired man. So Bill would tie her on with clothes lines, baling wire and straps, give her the reins and away she’d go, singing at the top of her voice, cutting her oats in semi-circles and happy as a clam. She plowed, disked, harrowed, planted, cultivated and mowed, tied to the seat of the machine and hilariously drunk. A smashing witticism of the farmers was, “You should take a run down the valley and watch Mary sowin’ her wild oats.”...

...Mary sold cream to the cheese factory. One morning she found a skunk drowned in a ten-gallon can of cream. She lifted the skunk out by the tail and with her other hand she carefully squeezed the cream from his fur. “Just between us skunks, cream is cream,” she said as she threw the carcass into the barnyard. She sold the cream and vowed she’d never tell a soul but Bill the hired man told everyone, especially people he saw coming out of the cheese factory with a five-pound round of cheese...

The good layers looked motherly, their combs were full and bright red, their eyes large, beaks broad and short, and their bodies were well rounded, broad-hipped and built close to the ground. They were also the diligent scratchers and eaters and their voices seemed a little lower with overtones of lullaby. The non-producers, the childless parasites, were just as typical. Their combs were small and pale, eyes small, beaks sharp and pointed, legs long, hips narrow, and they spent all of their time gossiping, starting fights, and going into screaming hysterics over nothing. The non-producers also seemed subject to many forms of female trouble—enlarged liver, wire worms, and blowouts (prolapse of the oviduct). What a bitter thing for them that, unlike their human counterparts, their only operation was one performed with an axe on the neck...

... I got out iodine, bandages, sleeping tablets and my self-control, because, though Bob was being brave and careless in front of Elwin, alone with me, he would act as if the bear had laid open both his lungs and his large intestine, and would spend many happy hours looking for the first signs of blood poisoning. It occurred to me then, that no mention had been made of our dog’s part in the fray...
 




I think this book will be one of my all time favorites. I've learnt early in my own expeditions into the wild that a healthy sense of humor was the only thing that will keep me sane and happy. Instead of being mad, frustrated, depressed, I wrote down my experiences for friends and family in long letters that had everyone hollering with laughter. They phoned me with tears of merriment in their voices. It was my way of healing and balancing out life. So in every sense of the word, I identified with Beth and knew what she was trying to accomplish. I felt like her.












The first book written by Betty MacDonald, The Egg and I , rocketed to the top of the national bestseller list in 1945. Translations followed in more than 30 languages, along with a series of popular movies. In the wake of World War II, the hilarious accounts of MacDonald's adventures as a backwoods farmer's wife in Chimacum Valley were a breath of fresh air for readers around the world. On the negative side, her book spawned a perception of Washington as a land of eccentric country bumpkins like Ma and Pa Kettle.

Anne Elizabeth Campbell Bard, called Betsy in childhood and later known world-wide as Betty MacDonald, was born in Boulder, Colorado, to Darsie and Elsie/Sydney Bard on March 26, 1908. Her father, a mining engineer, moved the family frequently before settling in Seattle. Betty attended the St. Nicholas School on Capitol Hill, then Lincoln High School. In 1924 she graduated from Roosevelt High School.

On July 9, 1927, Betty Bard married Robert E. Heskett and moved with him to the farm in the tiny community of Center in the Chimacum Valley near Port Townsend that lacked both plumbing and electricity. Betty later regaled family and friends with stories of her struggles during this time, eventually transforming them into the book that would make her famous.

After four years, Betty left Robert Hesket, taking their two daughters, Anne and Joan, with her. She returned to the family home in Seattle and worked at various jobs, keeping her sense of humor and her journal even when tuberculosis forced her to spend a year at Firland Sanatorium in what is now the city of Shoreline.

On April 29, 1942, she married Donald C. MacDonald (1910-1975) and moved with him and her daughters to a beach home on Vashon Island. Built as a summer home, it was cold and damp and in need of improvements. Anne and Joan enrolled in school while Don and Betty commuted to Seattle for work every day. Betty later described her daily scramble from home to the ferry dock in [book:Onions In The Stew|:

"It was always seven o'clock and my ferry left at seven-twenty and I should have left at six-fifty and now I would have to run the last quarter of a mile. I wore loafers and woolen socks over my silk stockings, carried my office shoes along with my lunch, purse, current book and grocery list in a large green felt bag. The county trail connecting our beach with the rest of the world begins at a cluster of mailboxes down by the dock, meanders along the steep southwest face of the island about fifty feet above the shore, and ends at our house ... if it was dark when I left the house (and it usually was) I ... ran the rest of the way to the ferry ... This boisterous early morning activity also started my blood circulating, churning, really, and by the time I got to the office I was not only bileless, I was boiling hot" (p. 57). 

Their fortune changed with a call from MacDonald's sister, Mary Bard Jensen (1904-1970). At a cocktail party, Mary ran into a friend who was a publishing company scout and told him that Betty was writing a book (which she was not). Betty whipped up the proposal for The Egg and I to save her sister embarrassment. The scout requested a full manuscript, which was rejected by one publishing house. With the assistance of the New York literary agency Brandt & Brandt, the book was serialized in the Atlantic Monthly and then published by J.B. Lippincott. She dedicated the book "To my sister Mary, who has always believed that I can do anything she puts her mind to."

My Not So Perfect Life by Sophie Kinsella












Just like the alphabet, bitch, I come before U

Yep, Demeter Farlowe(the goddess of the harvest, but also Mrs. Wilton in her other life), a proper Godzilla II, heads a team of pretty, but nasty nails on parade in the advertising world; a goopy pudding of gals, fluffed up by high heels, the secret Wednesday Bacchus devotion, and Ya Ya-sisterhood to die for. 

Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game, can be regarded as the general mantra for the miniskirt brigade coming with the high-prized hype and pretentiousness. Welcome to Cooper Clemmow branding company. 

When something goes wrong in your life, just yell 'plot twist' and move on. Katie Brenner, a wanne-be Londoner is forced back to the farm, out in the British sticks, when her low-paid, struggling, position as a research associate in the prestigious advertising company becomes redundant. What feels like the end of her London-ness(which gives her a spring in her step, it's so intangible, so buzzy), is actually the beginning of a new challenge, when she helps her father and stepmother to put glamorous into glamping on their farm, with proper wi-fi, 400-count must-haves on the yurt beds, and a new yoga discovery, called Vedari, for the upper- and middleclasses who's stomach sensitivity grows with their income. 

Out with the serum in the curls, the unfamiliar straight, tortured hair, the most important steps at a front door, away from the biscuit people, the naked-man coat stand, the amazing giant plastic flowers, and in with a little bit of amorous huffing and puffing in the cow dung on her way to find a considerate man, number one, but, number two and three, a man of quality who values her. Fun becomes such a last-year's kind of vintage rhetoric in the end, oh so like Alex Astalis, for instance. But wait, that's only in the hunt for the perfect partner. On the farm fun is the buzz word for chia seed, organic ginger, and special seaweed-groupies with a Gwyneth Paltrow-lifestyle craze. 

It's the brochure for Ansters Farm that got the moss on the rolling stones to scatter in totally new directions for the Somerset girl.

This is a satire in the rom com literary genre with a touch of Hollywood fluff in the ending. However, it comes with a little more substance, meat to the bones, and I loved that. I'm somewhat subjective and biased too in my rating. My daughter took a sabbatical from her 18-hour days in the advertising world to tour the world. She is the Katie Brenner in our own story. 

Cozy and quaint. A cutesy kind of fun read. Really enjoyable and good. A few good laughs came with the experience. Yes, and you will find me in Katie's helicopter dad, but without his crazy schemes. :-)) 








                                                                                   






Friday, November 1, 2013

Nutmeg by Maria Goodin



Genre
: Mystery,  Suspense, Fantasy, Satire, Drama, Relationships, Mother-Daughter relationships, Community, England, British author

Formats: Paperback, Kindle, Nook
Publishers: Legend Press 
Published date: March 13, 2012
ASIN: B007JVNOCE
Pages:304
Edition language: English

Original Title: Nutmeg
US Title: From the Kitchen of Half Truths
Australian Title: The Storyteller's Daughter
Purchase linksAmazon,    Barnes & Noble


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US edition - kindle: From the Kitchen of Half Truths ; Nook edition



Amazon Book Blurb:
Meg is growing up in a world of food filled fantasy; where her first tooth was so sharp her mother used her as a can opener, and eating too many apples once left her spitting pips. Then, age five, she is humiliated in front of the other children at school and turns her back on the world of fiction, deciding to let logic rule her everyday thoughts and deeds.

Years later, Meg's mother falls ill, and as she struggles to deal with the situation in an orderly fashion, her mother remains cocooned in her obsession with cookery, refusing to face up to her illness.

Slowly, Meg uncovers the truth about her childhood and is now faced with a humbling decision: to live in a cold harsh reality, or envelop herself in a wonderful world of make-believe.

Maybe life isn't defined as fact or fiction perhaps it can include truth, lies, and everything in between.



REVIEW:


I loved the beginning of the book:

" I came out a little underdone. Five more minutes and I would have been as big as the other children, my mother said. She blamed my pale complexion on her cravings for white bread (too much flour) and asked the doctor if I would have risen better had she done more exercise (too little air). The doctor wasn’t sure about this, but he was very concerned about the size of my feet. He suggested that next time my mother was pregnant she should try standing on her head or spinning in circles (spinning in circles on her head would be ideal) as this would aid the mixing process and result in a better proportioned baby."

Meg's mom had an obsession with food which lead to the most outrageously funny fantasies about her daughter's first five years on this planet. At first I laughed, because the stories were so unbelievably creative and funny. I would not have minded to have a mother with an imagination like that all.

But truth be told, I was seldom so touched by a book that I sat with a mouth full of teeth, not knowing what to say in reviewing a book. If I blurted out 'magnificent', I still would have to explain why, in which case it will become necessary to quote this entire book in the review!

A 21-year old girl, Meg May, arrives home after earning a degree in science. She is coming home to take care of her dying mother. It is soon clear that mom's outrageous fibs and fiction hid a mystery about Meg's childhood that she was unable or unwilling to reveal to Meg. 

"Throughout her pregnancy my mother suffered all manner of complications. She was overcome by hot flushes several times a day which the midwife blamed on a faulty thermostat, and experienced such bad gas that a man from the local gas board had to come and give her a ten-point safety check. Her fingers swelled up like sausages so that every time she walked down the street the local dogs would chase her, snapping at her hands. She consumed a copious amount of eggs, not because she craved them, but because she was convinced the glaze would give me a nice golden glow. Instead, when the midwife slapped me on the back I clucked like a chicken."

As a young girl, the world of fairies and talking animals only brought rejection from Meg's school friends, which left her lonely and growing up fending for herself in the harsh world of school and mean neighborhood kids. Now, as a grown-up scientist, she wants her mother to finally face reality and tell the truth and stop dodging her own story. Meg is convinced that people who believed in fiction and fantasy were gradually rotting their brains. Their fictional world was destroying them day by day, like a maggot eating away at their brains. Life has taught her that science is the only way to address the world and it's challenges. Science is her way of addressing life. It is the social home where she finally is accepted and respected.

The gardener, Ewan, appears out of nowhere, starts talking to the trees, asks the frogs nicely to leave the garden and explains to snails why they are not welcome. Valerie, Meg's mom, finds a soulmate, which drives Meg to more antagonistic behaviour. But Meg has a few lessons to learn, of which the first one is that Ewan might sometimes have his head in the clouds, but his feet are firmly on the ground.

When Meg finally discovers the truth behind her mom's fantasy world, she is devastated. As she meanders back into her mom's past, she slowly begins the walk on the road of healing and understanding. Forgiveness comes slowly and quietly. 

It is the second mother-and-daughter book I read this year that had me in tears. First of longing and sadness, and then of joy. The biggest compliment a daughter can give her mother is to finally be able to say to her: " I am everything you ever taught me, even when you thought I wasn’t listening." 

My mom never had to tell me fairy tales like this. She did not have to rewrite my history for me like Meg's mom. This book shocked and shook me to my deepest core. This book is so multifaceted it is very hard to write a complete review on it without turning it into a dissertation! Apart from the delightful fibs and fantasy in the book, it also addresses a magnitude of emotions, perceptions, approaches and -isms that can enhance or destroy lives, depending on how we apply it to our own life stories. 

I recommend it to all mothers and daughters alike; to fathers and brothers who always wanted to know what the real magic in fairy tales is all about. 

I wanted to rate it five stars for excellent writing, originality and plot, but if it was possible, I would have added another five stars for the unbelievable emotional journey it invites the reader on. Nobody will walk away unscathed from this experience.


ABOUT THE AUTHOR:


Maria Goodin was born in the South-East of England. Her first novel, 'Nutmeg', was published in the UK in 2012, and was based on an award-winning short story of the same title. The novel was published later that year in Australia under the title of 'The Storyteller's Daughter', and is soon due to be released in the US under the title 'From the Kitchen of Half Truth'. Book deals have also been secured in Italy, Germany, Spain and Sweden. Following a varied career which included administration, teaching and massage therapy, Maria trained to be a counsellor, and her novel was inspired by her interest in psychological defences. She lives and writes in Hertfordshire.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Ostrich by Matt Greene


Genres : Coming-off-age, Young adult, contemporary, satire, fiction 
Formats: Paperback( 336 pages), Kindle, Nook, 
Publishing date: August 27th 2013 by Ballantine Books 
ISBN 0345545214 (ISBN13: 9780345545213) 
Edition language: English 
Purchase links: Amazon Barnes & Noble 

Amazon Book Blurp: 
Alex has a story to tell. He just doesn't know what kind it is yet.
He's got a lot of the same concerns most of us do growing up (exams, puberty and, in his case, a punctuation obsession plus a little quantum mechanics) but lately, ever since his brain surgery, everyone in his life is behaving more than a little mysteriously.
Maybe it's adjusting to life after epilepsy or maybe it's the pressure of his pending scholarship application, but Alex is starting to see the world through different eyes. He's certain there's something rotten at the heart of his parents' marriage, and when his beloved hamster Jaws 2 starts acting up as well he decides it's time to investigate.
So begins the journey that takes him to the limits of his understanding, the edge of his endurance, the threshold of manhood, and the country music aisle in Virgin Megastore. And eventually, on the eve of his English Composition exam, to the door of his mother's home-made dark room. But will Alex have the courage to expose the terrible secret that lies beyond? Or would it be better for everyone if he buried his head in the sand?

REVIEW: 
"I already know what it's like to feel ostrichized, which is a better word for excluded (because ostriches can't fly, so they often feel left out).
Alex's epistemological view on life, on everything, would have me in stitches, even at five in the morning with the first cup of coffee in hand. His scientific approach to pornography had my laughter sound like a 1948-Fordson tractor with locked bearings - combustion inhibited by gaseous protests!
Talking about gas. "I attribute Mum's insomnia to her concerns about The State of Her Marriage. It can be helpful to use the word state when describing a marriage because it makes you think of the people involved as particles. Right now Mum and Dad's marriage is a gas."
I am sure he would have made Einstein proud as well (not only P.G.Wodehouse & Co).
Einstein : "How does it happen that a properly endowed natural scientist comes to concern himself with epistemology? Is there not some more valuable work to be done in his specialty? That's what I hear many of my colleagues ask, and I sense it from many more. But I cannot share this sentiment. When I think about the ablest students whom I have encountered in my teaching — that is, those who distinguish themselves by their independence of judgment and not just their quick-wittedness — I can affirm that they had a vigorous interest in epistemology. They happily began discussions about the goals and methods of science, and they showed unequivocally, through tenacious defense of their views, that the subject seemed important to them."
The wit and humor influences of P.G.Wodehouse, Woody Allen and alike is evident everywhere in this tragicomedy.
With everything the courageous young Alex went through, he never lost his sense of reason and his urge to dissect even the minced meat in his school lunch with a paint brush he borrowed from the Art department!
Mr. Sinclair: "Try and imagine your brain as an orchestra." ( I try, but it's difficult, because my brain is already a circuit board, a dog kennel, a water park, and a hostage negotiation.)"
Did Einstein fatally compromise himself? I think not. Not at all. And Einstein was also ostrichized by an educational system and society which could not accommodate his genius!
Before I venture too deeply into the epistomology about this book I should stop. Laughter can be deadly too, you know! If dissected, it becomes really a scary phenomenon! I'm sure Alex will agree with me!
Those staff members who taught Alex comment that his record of work was consistently good. They spoke to the keen interest and intellectual curiosity that he brought to the classroom. His written work was described as imaginative, fiercely logical, strongly argued, lucid, and unwaveringly grammatical. His command of concepts was confident and advanced."
That is what Alex and this book is all about. A skilfully crafted plot, a masterful tying together of all the detailed elements of the story line. It must have been quite a challenging novel to write. Thought-provoking - YES! Compassionate - YES!
BRILLIANT first novel. I am a fan forever!


ABOUT THE AUTHOR: 
Matt Greene was born in Watford in 1985 and studied English language at the University of Sussex. OSTRICH is his first novel.
Influences include: Kurt Vonnegut, Anne Tyler, Joseph Heller, P.G. Wodehouse, J.D. Salinger, John Swartzwelder, David Foster Wallace, Richard Yates, Ray Galton and Alan Simpson, Lorrie Moore, John Kennedy Toole, and, of course, the Jewish Holy Trinity: Philip Roth, Woody Allen and Larry David.